At the moment I am unsure of where to begin. There are many different things I would like to share with you all. This past summer has been very enlightening. Truth be told it has been a tough one. Since my husband and I tied the knot, there are many things that have became easier for us, but also a few things that have become harder. Everything has been mostly positive. The areas that have not been however, have been great learning experiences for us all.
Those of you who know me, know I grew up without a dad. My mother had also grown up without a dad. Even though my mother and grandmother were both married when they had their youngest baby, that did not change the outcome of how things turned out.
The hardest parts of life, are when you know you are doing what you should be doing, yet the world is telling you that you’re wrong. Some times it is easy to know AND feel like the choices you make are right. Yet other times you want nothing more then some one to tell you, you are on the right track. My whole life I have been made to feel like the bad guy in most situations.
We are finally officially getting married. After 9 years of being together we finally have made an official plan to do so. You see we picked a date, a year from now on our original anniversary day we were o be betrothed. With one thing after another I was not sure how that was going to work out. Especially since we have two kids and we are trying are hardest to save up money for at least a down-payment on a house. That is the thing; I had been so caught up in what day we did it. What year it fell on. Where is was going to be. Who was going to be there. What everyone would think or feel about it. The more I thought of everything, the more I sort of overwhelmed the situation. I know I should have just wanted to be married to the man of my life. That is all that should matter. The two of us, becoming one. Officially in the state of Oregon. 😉
Today my heart hurts