At the moment I am unsure of where to begin. There are many different things I would like to share with you all. This past summer has been very enlightening. Truth be told it has been a tough one. Since my husband and I tied the knot, there are many things that have became easier for us, but also a few things that have become harder. Everything has been mostly positive. The areas that have not been however, have been great learning experiences for us all.
Those of you who know me, know I grew up without a dad. My mother had also grown up without a dad. Even though my mother and grandmother were both married when they had their youngest baby, that did not change the outcome of how things turned out.
You are mine. And I am yours. I hold nothing back from you. I have given you the kingdom. You are my heir. You are my child. You are the one I chose to give everything to. All my love, all my attention, all my dreams. When love is poured into you, as I pour my love into you, what do you do with it? This is what I want to tell you: my love is something for you to get to know. There are many dimensions to it. It is greater than you can imagine. But don’t you want to imagine it? Don’t you want to know it more?
Well here we go. On to big things.
I still struggle with a lot of things. I am still human too. No, I have never been perfect and I will strive to always be better. The only thing that helps me through every day, is asking God to guide my ways. I can not see what is coming. I do not know what is happening next. He knows which way we should go. He knows the best direction we can take.
The hardest parts of life, are when you know you are doing what you should be doing, yet the world is telling you that you’re wrong. Some times it is easy to know AND feel like the choices you make are right. Yet other times you want nothing more then some one to tell you, you are on the right track. My whole life I have been made to feel like the bad guy in most situations.
Sorry some of my feelings are the way that they are. Not sorry I believe in sharing truth and only truth. Sorry I have so many feelings but have found an outlet instead of holding onto them.
Oh boy, well it has been over a week since I last wrote an article. Usually I try so hard to not get behind. If I do I usually have something ready. Well this last week I have not been prepared at all. Definitely the busy time of our year. But my goodness, so much going on and not really a whole lot of time to think. Well I know you all hate when I play catch up; Or try to “excuse” myself. Truly I believe there are no real excuses. When something is your job and you slack at it, the only person you are hurting is yourself. Unless you are a care giver or medical provider.
We are finally officially getting married. After 9 years of being together we finally have made an official plan to do so. You see we picked a date, a year from now on our original anniversary day we were o be betrothed. With one thing after another I was not sure how that was going to work out. Especially since we have two kids and we are trying are hardest to save up money for at least a down-payment on a house. That is the thing; I had been so caught up in what day we did it. What year it fell on. Where is was going to be. Who was going to be there. What everyone would think or feel about it. The more I thought of everything, the more I sort of overwhelmed the situation. I know I should have just wanted to be married to the man of my life. That is all that should matter. The two of us, becoming one. Officially in the state of Oregon. 😉
God is not a “respecter of persons”, meaning He does not favor one of us over another. What He has done for some one else, He can do for ALL of us. We just have to position ourselves into a place where we can receive His blessings. We have to first believe in Him, and ask Him to come live in our hearts forever.