Recently a close friend said something to me that was really offensive. I know in my heart she didn’t mean anything bad by it. It wasn’t worded the best either, but for a while I have had a hard time not thinking about it. I had been telling my friends how my day had went and how my kids were on my nerves a lot that day. When I was done, one of them said to me, “Well you know if you got a REAL job you wouldn’t have to deal with that any more.” I kind of laughed it off and the subject had changed. But WHAT THE HECK!
In reality, no, I do not have a “real” job. But I am a Mother, and I am trying to be more then that. Where I come from you have to work hard to get anywhere in life. That is exactly what I am doing. Working hard, starting at the bottom. My husband and I decided when I got pregnant with our son, and fired from my real job, that I would stay home with the baby and raise him. Then we had another and it was decided that I would spend the next years of our life, taking care of my babies, as well as try to grow my personal business so we could be financially set later in life. No my book is not finished yet, no my blog doesn’t make very much money. No, nobody pays me to change the diapers and make dinner. No one pays me to take my kid to school and make sure they have clean clothes. But it is still my job. My job to RAISE my kids. I have not EVER liked the idea of someone else raising my babies, having a say on how they are disciplined, or how good their manners are. No one else in the World has the right but me to be a PARENT to my kid.
I learn and grow so much everyday, alongside our almost 5 year old and our 2 year old. We have worked through so much together. Have learned countless things. Have made so many crafts, learned to paint and make paper mache. We learned how to make “hulk bread”. We have learned how to make play dough. We are currently learning how to make fondant and work with it better for his surprise cake next month. We have learned how to breathe through frustrating situations. We have learned to “use our words”, its surprising how much that one helped our everyday life. I really could sit here and write another four paragraphs worth of things we have learned just in the last year.
I am human. It is fine for me to be a little hurt and upset. Especially when I am made to feel like the last 5 years of work I have been doing means absolutely nothing. To me being a mother is a really important job. My mother didn’t get the luxury of staying home with her babies. My mom worked her ass off every day. She worked AND was a mom, to put food on the table, to buy us clothes and presents. Since she did it alone, She did it with God and did the very best she could for us every single day. Even to this day she still is such an awesome Mom and still does her very best for her babies and grand babies. I want to be THAT mom for my babies for the rest of their lives and the lives of my babies babies. We can live off of one income. We can live comfortably on just two checks a month. Enough for right now out weighs the cost of finding someone else to RAISE our babies.
I apologize for the so called “rant” or whatever it is. But the small comment has been sitting wrong for awhile. In the back of my mind just picking at my brain. It wasn’t intended to harm me on a personal level. It was used in a sense of that is just how some people see things. I used to really not like kids, the thought of being a “stay at home mom” was never appealing to me. But I would not change it. I would NOT want to do this any other way. I have many hobbies, but I also have little hobbits. Unfortunately most days the hobbits completely out weigh the hobbies. It is not impossible to keep up with everything but it is really difficult. Hopefully one of these days, my “At home Career” will take off and I can make money to sit here and enjoy my babies. But until then I still plan to enjoy the blessings I have everyday from the life I CHOOSE to have.
Thanks for sticking with me through this. For those of you who do not have kids yet, I am sure it might be hard to understand this whole thing. But I don’t need anyone to understand why I do the things I do, and why I chose the way I did. Nobody’s opinion of how I live my life should matter but my own. I do not need approval.
I do however need to continue to try to grow my blog and pick up on the things I need to. I still have so much to learn and so many things to get accomplished. Even though it is hard, I WILL NOT BE MOVED.