Frustrated Yet Peaceful

Apparently now that summer has hit, I am only good for one article a week. I do not want to sell myself short, or make any excuses, frankly there are no excuses in life. If this were a “real” job, I would have been fired weeks ago. Seeing as how I am my own boss, I suppose a “stern” talking to in the mirror, will have to do for now.

I am getting terribly frustrated with certain things lately. My “extended” family is not where I have been hoping they would be by this point. It is frustrating watching loved ones struggle with the same things over and over again. We as humans are really good at that. Getting through one thing, dealing with another, just to come back and stumble over the first thing again. It is a vicious cycle. I know because I have been there done that. With patience, took years to get though “not having any” then had to be tested over and over again to make sure it stuck. A lot of days I have to remember I have been there done that, for my patience level to rise back up. Then with anxiety, it was the same battle. I would overcome it one day, just to stumble again the next. I am NOT a people person. I am NOT a social butterfly. But because I know who God is, and I know He can help me through it all, I can get through all conversations that come my way. I can talk to people I normally wouldn’t because of the peace of God that surpasses all understanding.

With addictions it is the same way. It took me several years to overcome the want to smoke marijuana. To me it was like other people who have a beer once in awhile, or just smoke a cigarette. It was not a big deal, or so I thought. But once it came to the point when I flat could not relax without it, I realized it was an issue. When I was angry at every little thing on the days there were none. I slowly, very slowly started to make those connections. I have talked to God at least once a day my whole life growing up. During this blurry period in my life, I still talked to Him, just more once in awhile. It was not until I surrendered this part of my life to Him FULLY that I could see a chance to be free from the hold it had on me. I prayed all the time for help to let it go. I prayed for blockades in the way of getting more. I prayed for a very negative reaction every time I even thought about it. It took a while, but only God could help me through that. Yes, it was an issue. Yes, every once in a blue moon I think about it. The fake “relaxing” side effect does some times seem pleasing. But it is not worth it. It has nothing on the freedom of being filled with the Holy Spirit. Absolutely nothing on it. There are no negative side effects, “other then funny looks from people”, of being filled with the Spirit. It is the most freeing experience. Until I realized how bad the side effects of smoking marijuana were, I did not want to quit. It was blinding. It was a literal lie. It will make you feel good, it will make you happy, those are lies. It makes you hungry, exhausted, paranoid and weak.

Now I am not going to sit here and tell you that there are no medical benefits, or that any one who smoke it is going to hell. Flat out not the message I am trying to send here. So get that out of your head. I am not defending it, nor am I promoting it. The point behind this all, was it was a substance abuse issue FOR ME. I needed to be free from it so I could move forward onto the next part of my life that needed my full attention. My life called for me to be 100% sober. Sure I still have issues. Sure I still stumble. But the hold that substance had on me was not freeing. It was not beneficial for me. I am NOW free from it. I now have kids, and I can not imagine going back to that after being freed from it.

I know that some people who have had drinking problems, or smoking problems can not even be around it any more. That is fine. But falling into the same habits over and over again even after being pulled out of them is ridiculous. I realize people are only human. But realizing you are FOREVER FREE from something is a huge weight that has been lifted. I personally do not want to take another trip around that block again.

My point behind this, is I hate watching people struggle over and over again. Especially over the same things. When Jesus died on the cross it opened the door for us to have a real relationship with God. That also gave us the Holy Spirit. Those combine gave us a way out of all the “snares” that so easily entangle us. He gave us a way out. Freedom from substance abuse, freedom from hatred, freedom from anxiety. He came not to condemn us, but to save us, and help us live Life ABUNDANTLY!

I do not know about you but I so want an abundant life. I want to enjoy it and not dread each moment. I also want to be able to share my story without feeling like hiding under a bridge out of fear of what you might “think”. I promised you all that I would be transparent with you. I also promised to only speak truth. This is Truth; God is the only ONE that can & WILL set us free from the traps of the enemy. We must first be willing, and ask.

Just like us, He wants what is best for His children, and He wants to help His children get through everything.

I just wish everyone knew that. I pray people start to open their eyes to the truth. If everyone would stand on Gods promises, If everyone would seek God and pray for guidance; The world would be a much much better place. For now, we must do what WE can do, and pray for everything and for everyone. We should also be watching intently for His return.

Love you all! Keep on praying. His will, not our own, be done in our lives. Amen.

For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin. And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons:
“My son, do not despise the, chastening of the Lord,
Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him;
For whom the Lord loves He chastens,
And scourges every son whom He receives.”
If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. 11 Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:3-11 NKJV

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:1-2 NKJV

The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.
2 Peter 3:9 NKJV

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