Those of you who know me, know I grew up without a dad. My mother had also grown up without a dad. Even though my mother and grandmother were both married when they had their youngest baby, that did not change the outcome of how things turned out. When I was just a baby, my earthly dad choose to go a different path. I do believe in his heart he did love us. But I also believe he was not meant to be with my mom. If he would not have chosen the path he did; I would not be who I am today. That all being said, these are my feelings on the subject now.
This is NOT how I felt for most of my life. I grew up thinking that all men are bad. Also even if you choose to love one man, they will just leave any way, so do not get too attached. This, by the way, is not a healthy mindset. It took me a long time to realize that not all men were bad, AND that not all women are good. Who would have thought? Guess what, humans are only human.
I did eventually come to the conclusion that I just did not like people, at all! Which is not healthy either. For those of you who do not know; Walking around hating the world, is not how God intended us to walk. We should walk in Love. Love towards all. This does not mean to fall in love super quick based on a feeling. This also does not mean everyone will make a great best friend. We still have to use wisdom in picking our relationships. But we still should show love to all of the world around us. Just like Jesus did. He loved all, sinners, tax collectors, other races of people, even the people who took Him to the cross. He loved them all. I want to be like Jesus.
Well I have gotten a tad off track again. With all the negativity about men in my mind, I chose in high school to focus on my career and not “boys”. After all, my mom was a great dad to us girls, and my Father God had very much filled the void of having no earth dad. God was always there and became the best father I could have ever asked for. So between my mom, and God, I did not need anyone else.
Seemed like a valid plan to stay away from boys, until I meant this really cute pain-in-the-rear type of boy. There was just something about him. We enjoyed talking, and talking, and walking and talking. I found myself in a position that I did not like. I did not want to like this boy, let alone love him. After all I was just a naive teen girl, whom had her whole life ahead of her, right? So I pushed him away. As much as possible. I slowly found that this boy was respectful enough to give me my space, but was still so helpful and quick to answer when I needed him. This patient young man waited about 6-8 months for silly little me to even begin to want trust him. He was always there. After I prayed and prayed about it, I finally got the gumption up to ask him if he still wanted me to be his girl. Of course he did, was his reply.
To this day I believe God put him in my path for a reason. Once we started dating he immediately started becoming the man I never knew could even exist. After 5 years of dating, he proposed. Of course I said yes. Then 4 years later we finally tied the knot. I am not sure if it took so long for me because deep down I wondered if maybe it was all an act. But someone who could put up with little ol’ difficult me, for 9 years, probably deserves me. This man turned into the greatest father I have ever seen or known, or even heard of in my whole life (besides God of course). He became the best earthly dad. Which for a long time I did not know was even possible. Our babies love and respect him so much. But my Father God, gave us this man. He created this man, and then gave us each other. I can not think of a more gracious gift.
I have thought for a long time, that maybe God gave me this man to teach me a kind of love that I otherwise would have never known. I have loved God since I was little. I have loved my family since I can remember. I have loved my friends but they have came and gone. But then, I was given this man, that I chose to love, and through thick and thin he has always been there. Showing his love through all of it. God loves us, but we will never know the fullness of HIS love. We just get glimpses of it through relationships such as marriage and babies. He loves us like we are His children because we are, but He also loves the church as His bride. As much as I love my babies, as much as I love my husband, that is only a fraction, a mere taste of how much God loves each one of us.
My husband is a wonderful father. He is such a blessing to us all. Through him I have come to know, really and truly not all men are bad. Even more though, I have learned not all people are bad either. This is something I never thought was possible.
Thank you God for this family you have given me. Thank you for the husband you blessed me with. Thank you for showing your love through every aspect of our lives. Thank you for seeing me, for knowing my deepest longings, and for understanding what is best for us. Thank you for guiding us in all truth, and for helping us when we ask. We love you and are so blessed to be called children of You. Amen.
3 But let the righteous be glad;
Let them rejoice before God;
Yes, let them rejoice exceedingly.
4 Sing to God, sing praises to His name;
Extol Him who rides on the clouds,
By His name Yah,
And rejoice before Him.
5 A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows,
Is God in His holy habitation.
6 God sets the solitary in families;
He brings out those who are bound into prosperity;
But the rebellious dwell in a dry land.
Psalm 68:3-6 NKJV
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